Very Funny Valentine’s Day Messages & Quotes
Funny Valentine Messages and Quotes: It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship or married, you should never miss the love, fun and humor of valentine’s day. Sometimes, it’s good to try new stuff. This Valentine, try moving away from the traditional valentine’s practice where all people want to send are plain love quotes. This time, make it comical, enjoyable and adventurous. There is nothing that does the trick more than throwing bits of humor in it that will leave the receiver completely cracked. If you want to win your lover’s heart, use humor.
We will show you just how to bring out the joke without comprising on the theme of the day with our list of funny valentine’s day quotes and messages. Why do the same old romantic valentine wishes! Try something new; try something hilarious, just like these humorous Valentine messages and quotes below:
Hilarious Valentine’s Day Messages for Friends
There’s just one thing I want to change about you that’s your last name. Happy Valentine’s Day!
My love for you is like a fart that can’t be contained. Bursting out aloud in all its glory and fragrance.
If I were a hunter, then I must be a bad shooter because every time you cross my mind, I miss you.
The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy. See you in court!
I already killed some helpless flowers for you… what else do you want?
I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart. Happy Val my love.
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
It’s a pity to tell you I’m sorry my period ruined your plans for this Valentine’s Day.
I am single, anyone who wants to be my emergency contact on Valentine’s Day.
I have agreed to be my own Valentine.
Today is Valentine’s Day but to most people its singles day awareness.
Valentine day’s the perfect day to tell you how much I love you, I love you with all my heart, liver, lungs and kidney.
Valentine’s Day just caught me red handed. Still single.
It is hard to love and be intelligent at the same time. Love takes control of you.
If you are alone during Valentine’s Day, you are so lucky; your expenses are very minimal.
Hope your status will not be complicated after Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is for those in a serious relationship. All singles have fun for the remaining days of the year
Every day I fall more in love with you. Except on those days you really piss me off… (fortunately, today is not that day!)
From now until forever, I’ll stand by you. My love for you is XXXL!
Love is in the air! So don’t hold your breath!
The best way to spend this valentine’s day for me is to spend it with the love of my life – food. Wishing happy valentines day to you!
Celebrating Valentine’s Day looks great in movies. But in real life, it’s just horrible and costly. Try buying a bouquet of flower and you’ll know!
I love going out with you on any day except Valentine’s Day. The rapid demise of my pocket money burns my soul so badly. Happy Valentine Day!
You cannot define love in one word and you cannot celebrate love in one day. That’s why I don’t have any plans with you on this Valentine’s Day! Lol.
I like the way you chew my mind like a bar of chocolate. It’s just a matter of days before I become brain dead because of your love!
Loving you is my job and every job holder needs a motivation to work. Can I have some motivation tonight? Happy valentine’s day!
I just found out that I have fallen in love more deeply than I had originally planned. You can take this as a valentine’s day confession from me!
I love you like a lazy guy loves his bed in the morning. I want you like a monkey wants a banana and I crave for you as a fat boy craves for chocolates.
When people ask me what is the best thing about you, I say nothing. I don’t want them to fall in love with you. Happy valentine’s Day!
My healthcare plan does not cover the broken heart. So please don’t leave me ever. Happy valentine’s day!
The world is filled with so many people with so little love. Tonight, let’s make some love together. Happy valentine’s day!
If my wealth grew as much as my love for you, today I’d be on the Forbes list of richest men in the world. happy valentine’s day!
If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.
Love is like a blanket. It will keep you warm and safe for some times but very soon you’ll realize that it was an electric blanket and someone else is in control of the switch!
It’s always a wonder how the least intelligent guy in the friend circle gets the most beautiful girl in the class. Happy Valentine’s Day!
I get it, you are not single, you’re just waiting for something real, which unfortunately will never happen. Happy valentine’s day!
I have never seen anyone more romantic and caring as a person than you are. Maybe this is the reason why you are still single!
If you remain single for the next 2 years, you should really consider dating yourself. Because you are one of a kind and there’s no one like you!
Love doesn’t grow on trees like apples in Eden – it’s something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.
Today is February 14th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Lover’s day, while men call it Extortion day.
I wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day with all my heart, and lungs, and liver, and spleen…!
Roses are red, fitness is great, I would’ve gotten you chocolate, but you need to lose some weight.
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes to make your loved ones laugh
“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H. L. Mencken
“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal
“The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love.” – Margaret Atwood
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.” – Lewis Black
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
“Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.” – Melanie White
“It’s called Valentine’s Day, you moron. If you’re going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays.” – Abbi Glines
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” – Elizabeth Evans
“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.” – Unknown
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. – By Tracy Smith
I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time. – By Hilaire Belloc
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? – By Author Unknown
If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.- By Maya Angelou
It’s funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception. – By Ally McBeal
Love is being stupid together. – By Paul Valery
Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion. – By Mirabeau
Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. – By Robert Heinlein
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. – By Hoosier Farmer
Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely. – By Basta
The bravest thing that men do is love women. – By Mort Sahl
Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love. – Yiddish Proverb
Women are cursed, and men are the proof. – By Rosanne Barr